Carrie Bradshaw epitomises the confident, beautiful and urbane woman for whom the “GBF” (Gay Best Friend) is as indispensable as her Jimmy Choos.
This kind of fag hag appears in films such as Clueless, The Object of my Affection, The Next Best Thing, and in television series such as Will and Grace, Glee and Sex and the City. “She’s no longer a hag … and her gay friend becomes more of an accessory to her.” Typically, in this scenario, “a conventionally attractive woman” is drawn to gay men because straight men are failing her. Jane Ward, Associate Professor in Sexuality and Gender Studies at University of California, says the late 1990s was the “golden era” of the fag hag in popular culture, as the portrayal of straight woman paired with gay man occurred more frequently on big and small screens.
The eponymous lead in the more recent The Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt echoes these earlier roles (although with tongue firmly in cheek), arriving oblivious in New York City after being held hostage in an underground bunker for many years. Mary Ann Singleton in Armistead Maupin’s Tales of the City (first serialised in newsprint then later a television series) and Doris Finsecker in the television series Fame are early examples – naïve women who arrive in the big city and are befriended by a range of gay men.
In popular culture, the 1970s heralded a relaxation of social attitudes, which filtered into books, television and movie scripts, making the fag hag a narrative trope. “We’d be sitting at the bar and a good-looking man would walk in and we’d turn to each other and say ‘may the best man win!’”ĭuring the HIV crisis in the 1980s and 90s, Pat became involved in the AIDS quilt project, which comprises 48,000 separate panels sewn by nearest and dearest to commemorate those who have died from AIDS-related causes. People only giving a cursory glance would never suspect.Ī self-confessed disco diva who loved the company and “caustic humour” of gay men, Pat too found companionship with them, as a young widow and mother. She was the life of the party and a beard to a number of close family friends in order to protect them: “She always had a flock of men around her.”įor them it was important to be seen engaging in what would appear to be sexual banter with an obviously girly-girl. Her mother, Dorothy (now deceased), was always impeccably dressed. Pat Davidson (67), a retired teacher in Newcastle, knows a bit about beards. Michael York and Liza Minnelli in Cabaret. Occasionally, the situation necessitated a “lavender marriage”, the term for a male-female marriage when one or more of the couple was gay or bisexual. More recently, the parings of Liza Minnelli with Peter Allen or Doris Day with Rock Hudson were smokescreens for hidden desires. Vanessa Bell, painter, sister to writer Virginia Woolf and member of the Bloomsbury Group, had a lifelong relationship with artist (and gay man) Duncan Grant. There are many well-known examples of beards. Women willingly offered themselves as a disguise, which is why they were known as “beards”. A woman could prevent gay men from being socially exiled, attacked or arrested.
You had to be careful because it was against the law.īeing seen with a woman was one way of preventing unwanted attention from the law. It was almost like a secret society you formed with your friends. I was out to myself and to other gay friends. The meaning of “out” wasn’t like it has been since the 1970s. Kendall Lovett, a gay man now in his 90s, recalled some of these darker times when interviewed for a forthcoming documentary film I am producing, entitled Handbag: Globally, homosexuality is still illegal in 74 nations in some it is punishable by death. It was illegal even longer in the US – only in 2003 did the Supreme Court overturn sodomy laws in 14 states. Under these laws, men could go to jail for engaging in same-sex relations. Homosexuality was a crime in many states of Australia until May 13 1997, when Tasmania became the last state to decriminalise it. For the straight woman, he is a male friend that doesn’t expect more, a confidante, and just possibly the reason to become more involved in lesbian, gay, bisexual and trans (LGBT) activism. For the gay man, she has been protector, carer, cheerleader. It could be time to recast the moniker of “fag hag” as a badge of honour rather than a term of abuse.